help for homeless mom

Hello, My name is Lindsey and I am reaching out for help with my divorce and custody case(s). I've been married to my ex for 13 years before we separated in October of 2021. Since November 2021, I've lived in hotels, DV shelters then when those resources ran out the only person I know who'd help me has allowed me to stay in their home temporarily and that time is running out.  I left my husband of 13 years because I'd finally had enough of the abuse. It has left me with migraines, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, severe major depressive disorder and cPTSD. 

For the nine years before separation I was a stay at home mom for the most part, however, i did have a parttime job, working 2 days a week. I obtained that job through a family friend of my ex's; which, I was terminated from the same day i separated from my ex. 

I couldn't stay in our home for my own safety. He had shown no ill will towards the kids and I thought it was in their best interest to stay there and not bounce around shelter to shelter with me. Sadly, later i came to regret it. 

Why don't I get another job?

My therapist said I wouldn't be able to hold a job, and my psychiatrist agreed. For the year and half following my separation I was not in a good state. My dear friend had to make sure I took my medications, I showered, and I ate something. Constantly reminding me what I needed to do.  There was an incident in December of 2021 that was traumatizing for both of my children and I. I have been taking them to see therapists. I've tried getting a part time job at least. But the gaps in my work history has been a barrier.

I've been alienated from my children for several months this year. But once my son became 18 years old, he seen a change in his dad towards him. It was then, that he started talking to me again. It was hard and heartbreaking trying to get my daughter to come around. With some time she did, I just kept showing up and telling them I love them and I'm there for them. I believe it was also my daughter who helped my son to see I'm not the bad guy, it's mama. 

Both of my children have been affected negatively from my ex's behavior. I've had my son text me late at night asking for help on a few occasions. I also witnessed outbursts. My daughter would become quiet and isolate herself. It only got worse. 

Why do I need your help?

I am representing myself, while my ex has had an attorney from the beginning. I've been denied spousal support because he told the judge it would be taking away from the kids. On the other hand, he has gone on 4 vacations (5th vacation is this month), bought two new cars, now he's paying for himself to go through captain school. He's been spending a lot, the kids even complained. And he plans to move away to Florida with My daughter because he can't afford to live here in So Cal anymore. How is that not taking away from the kids?!  I need help for the retainer of an attorney to represent me, to fight for me and my children. 

Sorry in advance if it's hard to understand my story.