I need help either covering rent or buying a van so I can get out of here asap. I'm in danger of being kicked out any day and don't have time to save up.
I've had a really trying life frankly. In total I've had 6 major abusers in my life and have been homeless for a total of about 6 years off and on. I have so much trauma it's ridiculous and I've learned a lot. The problem is, every time I try to get out, I don't quite get full control over my life. I end up going to someone who "helps" me and then turns abusive because they feel entitled to me or whatever reason. I'm now 31, and I want this to be the last. I want the abuser to lose for once instead of me losing everything again. I want to actually have control of my life (and not be told it's all in my mind for the thousandth time) and I want to be free.
Currently, I live with one of my now ex's friends, and moved here to an entirely different state during covid because I was homeless at the time and the small business I worked at had closed permanently. Until I broke up with that ex, there was no indication that me being here was a problem. Completely the opposite. Stay as long as you want, no don't worry about paying for that, no you're fine, I understand you're working, blah blah.
After I broke up with him, I find out my ex and my housemate is in cahoots with another ex and other people, all talking about how I'm delusional and make stuff up. A total smear campaign. My housemate is NOW talking about evicting me and one of my most major crimes is apparently *checks notes* staying in my room all day. But also not having a job.
For reference, I have a remote job. As I've told them, I am working all day and I mean that literally. Most days, unless I give myself the day off, I wake up, go to my computer, and then work until I'm exhausted, watch a couple videos on youtube and pass out.
I was in fact earning enough to start looking at place to move out in May, and then my ex hit me with all this drama in June and it's been a struggle for me to just keep my head on straight and avoid getting myself fired for work performance. Imagine working your ass off for months, and it finally really pays off, and then people are telling you that you're this moocher who won't get a job and blah blah and this "discussion" is facilitated by your ex, who you weren't planning on speaking to ever again. And then your work performance slips and it takes five months to recover (which allows them to "prove" that you "aren't trying") and in the meantime you have to beg your friends to help you buy cat food and your ex and your housemate, who have full control over whether you live and die if we're being real here, are being validated unquestioningly by strangers who have no idea who you are, and have no idea that an actual life is at stake.
I mean, I'm not trying to be dramatic here, but living on the street in the 4th biggest city in the United States, far from anyone that person has ever met, completely isolated, during a pandemic, especially an easily sexually assaultable disabled person with ptsd from previous trauma, is either trying to drive them entirely insane or actually kill them.
I'm in serious trouble here.
Anyways, in about a month I plan to have my full income back (bad performance falls off after 120 days and I'll have access to the amount of projects I did again) but that's not enough time to save up for anything especially if I'm supposed to worry about getting kicked out any day now because someone has feelings they can't manage or someone who hasn't got my side of the story goes and validates them. Enablers, why are you like this?
If all I can gather up is a month or two of rent then I'll look for somewhere that'll rent to me. Ideally I'm aiming for a van because it is the most secure and covers all the things I need, a major one being to leave this state because my family and friends are back up north. I don't know what to expect from making this, so there's not a goal set in stone. It depends on what I can get together. But the goal is for me to get out of here one way or another.
Also, ex is trying to come here in December if covid allows and I seriously don't want to have to pretend to be with him or test how far he's willing to go with this. He's turned out to be way, way more manipulative and abusive and able to convince himself of anything that makes me look like the bad guy... and at this point I have no clue how far he's gonna go with that.
If it's important to you to see abusers lose, please donate or share this. Thanks in advance. And again, this is really urgent at this point.
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