Strong like Sawyer - providing Cuddle Cots for loss families

Strong like Sawyer - providing Cuddle Cots for loss families

From Logan Elizabeth Freed

In honor of our son, Sawyer, we are trying to raise money in order to provide a Cuddle Cot to the hospital where he was born. Cuddle Cots give loss families the gift of time with their babies to make precious memories.

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Update #2

about 1 month ago

We cannot even express the amount of gratitude we have for the outpouring of love and support you all have shown us during this time. We have hit 50% of our fundraising goal and we could not be more thankful to each and every one of you for supporting us and following Sawyer's journey. Thank you, so much. Half-way there!

More Info

I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed about the day when I would finally be able to hold a baby that was mine, and look into their sweet face and know what true and unconditional love feels like.

After Jake and I moved to Arizona, we decided to wait to start trying for a baby until a time which we hoped he would be home for the duration of my pregnancy. After 3 consecutive deployments, we decided that it might be time to start trying to grow our family. Knowing that it may take us some time to get pregnant, we promised each other not to become discouraged, and just to let it happen, if it was meant to be.

Little did we know, just a few short weeks later, Sawyer happened. On February 5, I decided to take a test, fully convinced that it would be negative...it was definitely NOT negative. Of course, I didn’t believe it, and proceeded to take 2 more tests, both of which were big fat positives. That night, I surprised Jake with a onesie and a note telling him that he was going to be a daddy.

We were so excited! And, as far as pregnancies go, I feel like I had the easiest time with symptoms. I never once got sick, I barely even experienced any nausea whatsoever, and only ever just felt a little extra tired most days. I genuinely loved being pregnant. I had so much fun following my little baby’s growth progress on the pregnancy apps. Always telling Jake the pregnancy fact of the day about our little peanut.

Fast forward to our 20 week anatomy ultrasound when we found out that our sweet little baby boy was diagnosed with a condition that made him “incompatible with life outside of the womb”. We were sent to specialists who confirmed our worst nightmares - our sweet baby was destined to die. We were given two options - continue the pregnancy, or TFMR (termination for medical reasons). For us, there was no decision to make. I had already felt the little life inside of me kicking and squirming and fighting. We knew that this baby was worth fighting for and we were determined to make sure that his life had a purpose and that as his parents, we would show him love every second we were able to.

Jake and I sat down and made a list of all of things that we wanted to do with Sawyer before he was born. We knew that he was only safe when he was in my belly and we wanted to make sure that we made as many memories as we were able to, so that we could always look back on them.

We went to the beach, kayaking, hiking, swimming, we went to Colorado and Texas, we got our favorite childhood ice cream (Superman), we went to the science museum, and to the aquarium, and at each place, we made sure to take pictures.

During this time that we had with Sawyer, I also found myself doing A LOT of research. I wanted to make sure that I was as prepared as I could possibly be, and that I had thought of all of the possibilities that could happen, and all of the things that we could do to make memories.

The one thing that I continually said during this entire journey was that if I could somehow prevent another mother from feeling even an ounce of the pain that I was going through, then I somehow could give our situation a purpose. We met with the organ donation network, hoping that if Sawyer was born alive, that we would be able to donate my placenta to help others. Unfortunately, because the amniotic band constricted his umbilical cord and stopped his heart before he was able to make it to term, this possibility was no longer available.

In all of my research, I was also able to find out about a device called a Cuddle Cot. This device is essentially a cooling blanket that is used after a baby dies to keep the body cold enough so that the baby is preserved, and parents are able to spend precious time bonding with that baby.

The sad reality is that most stillborn babies have to be taken to the morgue just hours after their birth. This gives the family only hours to bond with their precious baby, only hours to say both hello and goodbye. Some families are only able to cuddle their newborns once, and only have hours to be able to hold and love and memorize every bit of their sweet bundle.

But, if a Cuddle Cot is available, those short hours can turn into days. Let me tell you, the time that you get to spend with your baby after their birth is precious - especially if it is the only time you will ever be able to spend with them.

Thankfully, 3 weeks before Sawyer was born, someone donated a Cuddle Cot to the hospital which we were to deliver at, and we were able to spend not just a few hours with our sweet boy, but we were given 4 precious days to bond with Sawyer. I was able to hold him as much as I wanted to, and I was even able to sleep with him on my chest. His daddy was able to hold him and memorize his every little feature, from his perfect little lips to his tiny toes. We were given this time only because of a Cuddle Cot being available to us, and only because we were the only family that lost a baby that day in the hospital.

But, that isn’t always the case. At any given time, there can be multiple families who lose their sweet baby, and therefore it is a first come first serve for the Cuddle Cot.

It is our goal to be able to provide more Cuddle Cots to the hospital where Sawyer was born. We want to give other families the chance that we had - the chance to love and to bond with their baby without the fear of them being taken to the morgue, and without the pressure of only having a few hours.

It is our hope, that you will be able to help us reach this goal, in Sawyer’s honor.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read about Sawyers life, and thank you so much for the support that you have shown us through this entire journey. We truly do appreciate and love each and every one of you.

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Logan Elizabeth Freed posted a new update:
about 1 month ago

Update #2

We cannot even express the amount of gratitude we have for the outpouring of love and support you all have shown us during this time. We have hit 50% of our fundraising goal and we could not be more thankful to each and every one of you for supporting us and following Sawyer's journey. Thank you, so much. Half-way there!

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Logan Elizabeth Freed posted a new update:
about 1 month ago

Update #1

We have officially reached 25% of our goal! Thank you so much to everyone who has already donated. It means more to us than you could ever know! We still need your help, every dollar counts and brings us closer to being able to provide this amazing device to the hospital where Sawyer was born so that other families have the same opportunity that we had. We love and appreciate you all.

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