Racquel and baby Zenya‘s EMERGENCY housing fund

Racquel and baby Zenya‘s EMERGENCY housing fund

From Rac Quel

Zenya is HERE! She is BRILLIANT and GORGEOUS! We have temp housing right now. Funds are still needed to cover living costs as well as permanent housing in 2021. Zelle to 404-916-2771.

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Recent Updates

Update #8

about 1 month ago

Housing: secure but April rent is not yet covered

Zenya: healthy, vocalizing, getting more mobile, smiling and laughing, loves to cuddle, starting to teethe a bit, GROWING fast, loves being read to, likes music, and is a sweetheart.

My mental health: stable, right medicines and right doses, I am jumping for joy that I've been free and single for about 7 months now, I think I should try to do my coping skills a bit more regularly (sing, dance, write, paint) but I do tap into them, and I feel really encouraged by my friendships

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Feel Free to Zelle me directly at 404-916-2771

During my pregnancy, I experienced the following [not strictly chronological]:

1. Domestic abuse from a potential father of my child. Now that Zenya is born, it is clear that he IS NOT her father. The multi-layered abuses began in March/April when came to live with me in California and intensified when/after my family told us to come live with them in FL. This domestic abuse includes verbal abuse, emotional/mental abuse, physical intimidation, physical abuse, grand theft, cyber stalking, cyber bullying, impersonation, death threats, insurance fraud, and harassment across California and Florida. (I have filed a police report in each state)

2. Emotional and mental abuse towards my family members. The abuser threatened my family's dog violently multiple times at the beginning of our stay in my mom's house. He triggered me to the point of suicidal ideation within our first week in Florida. After returning to my mom's home after leaving him, he threatened us, claiming he was down the street with his uncle who had a gun. He later accused me of being a "gofundmewhore" while conveniently omitting the fact that I was financially responsible for both of us from the minute he came to live with me, until the day I left him.

3. In Florida, I went to four hospitals for help with my mental illness in total. 

{1 of 4} I went to the first hospital twice (1) after having to beg and plead my family to take me because I had not been able to sleep for over 60 hours (2) after I had to creep away [to find help from a police officer] since my ex had spent the entire morning taunting and emotionally abusing me. 

{2/3 of 4} I was abused/mistreated in two of those hospitals: (1) during a 5-day hold on a psychiatric ward that I went to voluntarily (2) after a voluntary ER visit that became a 24-hour hold. 

{4 of 4} I was intentionally left to roam the streets with absolutely none of my personal belongings by my ex. I asked at least 10 strangers to call my family and no one answered. Eventually, I started hyperventilating and a stranger called an ambulance. I was mentally and emotionally mistreated by the paramedics that eventually took me to the hospital where I was held on a 5-day hold.

4. During my 2 months in FL, I was only under my family’s roof for a total of ~3 weeks. I was financially responsible for guaranteeing shelter for myself and my ex up until September 1 when I left him because his physical abuse reached the absolute limit I was going to tolerate. On September 23rd, I was able to fly myself back to California.

5. Since returning to California, I experienced homelessness. I received the help I needed to gain mental stability at a psychiatric ward in Los Angeles where I was housed/treated for 21 days. I also took myself to that hospital voluntarily. I’ve been sheltered and able to eat consistently because of direct financial support from school mates I met at my Undergraduate college and my first(of 2) Los Angeles-based  PHD programs, two LA friends, and (in the lowest capacity) my FL family. When I was not in hotels or a hostel, I spent a of couple nights crashing with friends/one family member. 

6) After Zenya's birth, this Fundly enabled me to secure housing until Jan 2nd. I had to return to ER and check in to my fifth psych ward of 2020. The interstices of pregnancy, post pardum, and cyclical mental illness crises run in my family. After receiving a new diagnosis, the on-going conflict I had been having with my immediate family FINALLY made sense. A symptom of my new diagnosis includes delusional thoughts of being persecuted. I had projected these feelings onto them as I was being constantly gaslighted and triggered by my abuser. 

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Rac Quel posted a new update:
about 1 month ago

Update #8

Housing: secure but April rent is not yet covered

Zenya: healthy, vocalizing, getting more mobile, smiling and laughing, loves to cuddle, starting to teethe a bit, GROWING fast, loves being read to, likes music, and is a sweetheart.

My mental health: stable, right medicines and right doses, I am jumping for joy that I've been free and single for about 7 months now, I think I should try to do my coping skills a bit more regularly (sing, dance, write, paint) but I do tap into them, and I feel really encouraged by my friendships

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Rac Quel posted a new update:
4 months ago

Update #7

This morning, I felt down. I am grateful to be in 2021 with my daughter Zenya Sunshine! However, I did find myself worried again. Through the grace of God and the continued kindness of others, I was able to extend our hotel stay by a few days. I do not know what our next step will be. Thankfully several people are still sharing our Fundly link:https://fundly.com/racquel-and-baby-zenya-s-housing-fund or sending direct Zelles to 404-916-2771.
As I sit on this bench with Zenya, I breathe in fresh air. I take in the healing rays of sunshine and appreciate the cool breeze enveloping us both. The prayers that so many people have uttered for us, continue to keep us. Every pain I have felt in the last six months feels soothed by the sound of each wave crashing on this Californian shore. I am so grateful for every angel that continues to have our back.
I appreciate my mom a lot today. For those closest to me, you know how strained our relationship became during my months of cycling crises. No matter how much misplaced anger I flung towards her, I know that my mom is a prayer warrior. More than one source of ill will has tried to undermine the bond we have,. I can recognize now, that they hoped that my relationship with my mom would resemble the relationship they have with their mom. Instead, of throwing immense shade towards those folks. I pray that they look to their higher power to find the maternal love they could not find on this earth.
May the Universe sprinkle soul-lifting star dust in their paths and revive their broken heart. That's what I imagine they need, because that is how it feels when my mom says "I love you, A LOT!"
I always said I would have my first child at 30 because my mom turned 30 the year she had me. I did not predict the trauma, pandemic, and homelessness that came along with it... but hey! God knows the end from the beginning and divine promise says we NEVER experience more than we can bear. I believe that. I'm encouraged by that.
A change is on the horizon. I can see it forming right where the Pacific kisses the sky.

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Rac Quel posted a new update:
5 months ago

Update #6

This is the last manipulative, guilt-tripping, toxic, disgusting, ROLLING MY EYES FOREVER AND EVER youtube video sent by the evil abuser. (who, once again, as King Povich would say IS NOT THE FATHER)
https://www.youtube.com/watch...
I REFUSE to watch it.
But, I'll share it here so others can witness. This is the SAME physical and cyber abuser who plastered (ACROSS the interwebs) pictures/videos of me in lingerie, accusations that I gave him herpes, claims/names that I am a "gofundmeWHORE". He successfully traumatized/bullied four of my former close friends out of my life, and curated videos of me to make me seem out of control. He imprisoned me in the bathroom of an airbnb through use of physical intimidation and verbal lashes, ALL WHILE broadcasting it to his cousin on FT adding devilish director's commentary, saying things like "you see this nasty bitch, she still got stains on her shirt from eating pizza last night."
So OBVIOUSLY, this is nothing more than a last ditch attempt of an extreme narcissist abuser to remind me that I did.... nothing but show him love since I met him when I was 13, four days before my fourteenth birthday.
Moral of the story: Listen to Peter Tosh's wordworks for "friend". A FRIEND can often be a FRI-END, A FRY-END. In the END, they fry you, throw you into the FIRE/FIYA.
But me know nuff story. Mi know seh three Hebrew persons were flung into FIYA and the Son of Man was ALSO seen in the FIYA. Mi know seh dem come OUT a'di FIYA, without a SCAR. Not even DEM CLOTHES smell'a smoke.
Mi hear seh GOLD is purified by FIYA.
Mi know seh, some seed cyan germinate UNLESS there is FIYA
And IF YOU EVA KNOW, the blessings that this FRI-END inspired, you would neva bawl, you'd only grow.

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Rac Quel posted a new update:
5 months ago

Update #5

This morning I’m really annoyed that the EEDIAT abuser (who IS NOT) Zenya’s dad, really still has my U.S. passport held hostage.
Stolen stuff that is basically resolved:
Laptop (an empress bought me a new one and I picked it up yesterday)
ID card (new one ordered)
Tablet (

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Rac Quel posted a new update:
6 months ago

Update #4

This afternoon was rough.

I had started the day very hopeful. Leaning into my creativity which has been a LIFE-SAVING coping skill for me.

I added to my new Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIMCCpgRW4DteqBMlnNBT7w

I walked/waddled down memory lane and revisited an older channel of mine. I was really feeling so lifted by videos from For Your Glory Praise Showcases taken yyyeeeaaarrrrsss ago (lol on an iPad that I still have even though it cannot even load properly any more):
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIMCCpgRW4DteqBMlnNBT7w

I was really procrasti-youtubing, though I was excited to meet the property manager at my apartment viewing. She sounded very kind on the phone and preferred speaking Spanish. (This made me nostalgic for the Dartmouth LSA to Mexico I was blessed to go on the Winter 2010!) I didn't even feel flustered when Portuguese words kept trying to creep from my tongue.

But then.

I was 10 minutes away.

Driving through THE SAME EXACT NEIGHBORHOOD, I had left back in July.

The memories were so strong and eerily tangible. I had to lean into my other LIFE GIVING coping skill: feeling ALL my feelings.

When I parked. I stopped to share this moment with my IG and FB friends. I feel that too often social media exacerbates mental illness, especially if one's timeline is flooded only by carefully curated joy, smiles, excitement, living mah best life! content. Life is about sadness also. Life is about heartbreak and feeling defeated/hopeless/helpless.

Yet

FAITH

FAITH has been soooo powerful for me in my life because it DEMANDS that you don't deny these negative feelings. Faith gently, kindly whispers: cry, if you need to, frown if you feel to, GET FURIOUS if it's time for fury, feel, breathe, be.

As I exhaled and "got presentable", I flipped through the old Youtube videos again and landed on this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhFiNLxLRls

Spotify was acting very capitalist so by the time I flung that app away and got to this video, I only had enough walking left to listen to the first two minutes. I did not listen to one sung note. What I heard, is what I *needed* to hear. One of Nathaniel's '13 silly, genuine, unapologetic introductions aka mini SERMONS.

I really did feel better as I paused the video, and greeted the kind soul who proceeded to show me an excellent apartment prospect.

Keep praying please. Even if you don't have a dime to give. It's PRAYER FIRST, money later whenever I go through my GROWING throughs.

#blessUP

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Rac Quel posted a new update:
6 months ago

Update #3

Many people have been affirming me! I am grateful.

Many are in awe of my resilience, my determination, and my REFUSAL to give up.

Today, I encourage you all to acquaint yourself with @BettyRox and HER story of resilience.

Please check my FB Page for my full update regarding Betty Rox, one of my REALEST role models here in Los Angeles.

https://www.facebook.com/racquelandzenya/

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Rac Quel posted a new update:
6 months ago

Update #2

10% to the goal!! Thanks so much everyone!!

Things got ULTRA URGENT this morning!

Still keeping the faith that all will work out in time!

#grateful #faithFULL #excited #nervous #babygirl

#highriskbutHIGHGRATITUDE #domesticabuseSURVIVOR

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Rac Quel posted a new update:
6 months ago

Update #1

Today is my 30th birthday!

Times are tough BUT I feel mightily blessed

I am grateful for ALL my supporters

I AM because WE ARE

Much much much much LOVE

Remember!
God favors WE
Faith is evidence of what we HOPE for
Faith is evidence of things we cannot SEE
WE are more than conquerors!

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