Racquel and baby Zenya‘s EMERGENCY housing fund

Racquel and baby Zenya‘s EMERGENCY housing fund

From Rac Quel

Due to a sudden change in my doctor's inducement plan, I have changed the campaign goal and deadline. I appreciate ALL of you. I will not be able to make updates as regularly in the near future. Zelle to 404-916-2771.

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Recent Updates

Update #4

9 days ago

This afternoon was rough.

I had started the day very hopeful. Leaning into my creativity which has been a LIFE-SAVING coping skill for me.

I added to my new Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIMCCpgRW4DteqBMlnNBT7w

I walked/waddled down memory lane and revisited an older channel of mine. I was really feeling so lifted by videos from For Your Glory Praise Showcases taken yyyeeeaaarrrrsss ago (lol on an iPad that I still have even though it cannot even load properly any more):
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIMCCpgRW4DteqBMlnNBT7w

I was really procrasti-youtubing, though I was excited to meet the property manager at my apartment viewing. She sounded very kind on the phone and preferred speaking Spanish. (This made me nostalgic for the Dartmouth LSA to Mexico I was blessed to go on the Winter 2010!) I didn't even feel flustered when Portuguese words kept trying to creep from my tongue.

But then.

I was 10 minutes away.

Driving through THE SAME EXACT NEIGHBORHOOD, I had left back in July.

The memories were so strong and eerily tangible. I had to lean into my other LIFE GIVING coping skill: feeling ALL my feelings.

When I parked. I stopped to share this moment with my IG and FB friends. I feel that too often social media exacerbates mental illness, especially if one's timeline is flooded only by carefully curated joy, smiles, excitement, living mah best life! content. Life is about sadness also. Life is about heartbreak and feeling defeated/hopeless/helpless.

Yet

FAITH

FAITH has been soooo powerful for me in my life because it DEMANDS that you don't deny these negative feelings. Faith gently, kindly whispers: cry, if you need to, frown if you feel to, GET FURIOUS if it's time for fury, feel, breathe, be.

As I exhaled and "got presentable", I flipped through the old Youtube videos again and landed on this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhFiNLxLRls

Spotify was acting very capitalist so by the time I flung that app away and got to this video, I only had enough walking left to listen to the first two minutes. I did not listen to one sung note. What I heard, is what I *needed* to hear. One of Nathaniel's '13 silly, genuine, unapologetic introductions aka mini SERMONS.

I really did feel better as I paused the video, and greeted the kind soul who proceeded to show me an excellent apartment prospect.

Keep praying please. Even if you don't have a dime to give. It's PRAYER FIRST, money later whenever I go through my GROWING throughs.

#blessUP

More Info

Feel Free to Zelle me directly at 404-916-2771

During my pregnancy, I experienced the following [not strictly chronological]:

1. Domestic abuse from a potential father of my child. This began in March when came to live with me in California and continued when/after  my family told us to come live with them in FL. This domestic abuse includes verbal abuse, emotional/mental abuse, physical intimidation, physical abuse, grand theft, cyber stalking, cyber bullying, impersonation, death threats, insurance fraud, and harassment across California and Florida. (I have filed a police report in each state)

2. Emotional and mental abuse from family members. Zero sum financial support after being invited to FL under the guise of help with money issues. In fact, I gave my family more financial support then they “offered” me. School mates and colleagues from my current PHD program as well as other people in my personal network actually provided financial assistance and food assistance that far exceeded the “help” promised by my family.

3. In Florida, I went to four hospitals for help with my bipolar disorder in total. 

{1 of 4} I went to the first hospital twice (1) after having to beg and plead my family to take me because I had not been able to sleep for over 60 hours (2) after I had to creep away [to find help from a police officer] since my ex and family had spent the entire morning taunting and emotionally abusing me as a team. 

{2/3 of 4} I was abused/mistreated in two of those hospitals: (1) during a 5-day hold on a psychiatric ward that I went to voluntarily (2) after a voluntary ER visit that became a 24-hour hold. 

{4 of 4} I was intentionally left to roam the streets with absolutely none of my personal belongings by my ex. I asked at least 10 strangers to call my family and they never answered one call. Eventually, I started hyperventilating and a stranger called an ambulance. I was mentally and emotionally mistreated by the paramedics that eventually took me to the hospital where I was held on a 5-day hold.

4. During my 2 months in FL, I was only under my family’s roof for a total of ~3 weeks. I was financially responsible for guaranteeing shelter for myself and my ex up until September 1 when I left him because his physical abuse reached the absolute limit I was going to tolerate. On September 23rd, I was able to fly myself back to California.

5. Since returning to California, I’ve continued to experience homelessness. I finally received the help I needed to gain mental stability at a psychiatric ward in Los Angeles where I was housed/treated for 21 days. I also took myself to that hospital voluntarily. I’ve been sheltered and able to eat consistently because of direct financial support from school mates I met at my Undergraduate college and my first(of 2) Los Angeles-based  PHD programs, two LA friends, and (in the lowest capacity) my FL family/abusers (I have now cut them out of life entirely to avoid mental instability and potential relapse). When I was/am not in hotels or a hostel, I have spent a of couple nights crashing with friends/one family member. 

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Rac Quel posted a new update:
9 days ago

Update #4

This afternoon was rough.

I had started the day very hopeful. Leaning into my creativity which has been a LIFE-SAVING coping skill for me.

I added to my new Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIMCCpgRW4DteqBMlnNBT7w

I walked/waddled down memory lane and revisited an older channel of mine. I was really feeling so lifted by videos from For Your Glory Praise Showcases taken yyyeeeaaarrrrsss ago (lol on an iPad that I still have even though it cannot even load properly any more):
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIMCCpgRW4DteqBMlnNBT7w

I was really procrasti-youtubing, though I was excited to meet the property manager at my apartment viewing. She sounded very kind on the phone and preferred speaking Spanish. (This made me nostalgic for the Dartmouth LSA to Mexico I was blessed to go on the Winter 2010!) I didn't even feel flustered when Portuguese words kept trying to creep from my tongue.

But then.

I was 10 minutes away.

Driving through THE SAME EXACT NEIGHBORHOOD, I had left back in July.

The memories were so strong and eerily tangible. I had to lean into my other LIFE GIVING coping skill: feeling ALL my feelings.

When I parked. I stopped to share this moment with my IG and FB friends. I feel that too often social media exacerbates mental illness, especially if one's timeline is flooded only by carefully curated joy, smiles, excitement, living mah best life! content. Life is about sadness also. Life is about heartbreak and feeling defeated/hopeless/helpless.

Yet

FAITH

FAITH has been soooo powerful for me in my life because it DEMANDS that you don't deny these negative feelings. Faith gently, kindly whispers: cry, if you need to, frown if you feel to, GET FURIOUS if it's time for fury, feel, breathe, be.

As I exhaled and "got presentable", I flipped through the old Youtube videos again and landed on this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhFiNLxLRls

Spotify was acting very capitalist so by the time I flung that app away and got to this video, I only had enough walking left to listen to the first two minutes. I did not listen to one sung note. What I heard, is what I *needed* to hear. One of Nathaniel's '13 silly, genuine, unapologetic introductions aka mini SERMONS.

I really did feel better as I paused the video, and greeted the kind soul who proceeded to show me an excellent apartment prospect.

Keep praying please. Even if you don't have a dime to give. It's PRAYER FIRST, money later whenever I go through my GROWING throughs.

#blessUP

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Rac Quel posted a new update:
9 days ago

Update #3

Many people have been affirming me! I am grateful.

Many are in awe of my resilience, my determination, and my REFUSAL to give up.

Today, I encourage you all to acquaint yourself with @BettyRox and HER story of resilience.

Please check my FB Page for my full update regarding Betty Rox, one of my REALEST role models here in Los Angeles.

https://www.facebook.com/racquelandzenya/

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Rac Quel posted a new update:
12 days ago

Update #2

10% to the goal!! Thanks so much everyone!!

Things got ULTRA URGENT this morning!

Still keeping the faith that all will work out in time!

#grateful #faithFULL #excited #nervous #babygirl

#highriskbutHIGHGRATITUDE #domesticabuseSURVIVOR

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Rac Quel posted a new update:
14 days ago

Update #1

Today is my 30th birthday!

Times are tough BUT I feel mightily blessed

I am grateful for ALL my supporters

I AM because WE ARE

Much much much much LOVE

Remember!
God favors WE
Faith is evidence of what we HOPE for
Faith is evidence of things we cannot SEE
WE are more than conquerors!

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