Please help - Abused Rural LGBT youth needs a car

More Info

My name is Simon, and I am a 23-years-old transmasculine individual. I live with a highly restrictive and abusive narcissist for a mother. This person controls every aspect of my existence, physical and emotional, and will not allow me to reach independence - her terms are I either have to be homeless or live with her abuse. I need a car to begin working to save money and escape from this situation.

We have always lived in areas far away from people or jobs, with no public transportation of any sort. I am not allowed to drive or work despite having a license and being an adult. I have also not been allowed to visit friends or invite friends over growing up. My entire life has been controlled by someone who wants me to be isolated and loyal to her forever. If she can't have that, she will leave me on the street with nothing instead of letting me move out.

My mom isn't someone who can be talked to or reasoned with, and there's no convincing or appeasing.. I actually know for a fact that she gets up to leave her room and purposely starts fake arguments to entertain herself, as a boyfriend she once had told me about it. She is a lot like the mother from the Disney movie Tangled - sweet and loving exterior to the max so nobody doubts her, but ultimately wants to chain me down and isolate me forever, as long as it means she gets what she needs from me except its not having magic hair. Although at one point in my teenage years, she beat me for cutting my hair because she 'always wanted long hair' and I should've let her 'have that'.

Despite constantly starting fights, she is emotionally reliant on me.. I have been treated like a therapist for all my life by her. If I don't comfort her all day whenever she seeks it out, she has a breakdown about how I hate her, how I'm cruel and am unappreciative. Everybody should help out their mother now and then, but I am treated like a slave while being called ungrateful and threatened even while washing her dishes for her in front of her very eyes. I am only allowed to use the kitchen when she says so, and I am only allowed to shower a certain amount of times each day.

She has told me before word-for-word that she hates me and wished she never gave birth to me because of "how I came out". I was physically abused throughout my childhood and teenage years by my mother. The only assistance she provides is the type that she can use against you later.

I am unable to receive medical care when I am here. I have state insurance but no transportation of any kind on a consistent level. I am sure that I have an undiagnosed chronic illness due to a plethora of symptoms on a daily basis over the past few years, as well as throughout childhood.. There is a reasonable chance I could become sick and die in this house from neglect. I had a severe kidney infection and was told I was 'putting on a show for attention', and was refused to be taken to a doctor. I am now still battling constant kidney problems on and off a year and a half later, as I likely have permanent damage in my body.. I will also be disowned by her if i receive any vaccinations, COVID or unrelated. The house is also so hot during the summer I regularly experience episodes of dizziness and vomiting just from room temperature. My mother will not use the air conditioning as she has told me before she does not care how the heat affects me.

I began transitioning 2 years ago, which has made things a lot worse. She uses transphobia as an excuse to bar me from unrelated things. Recently, I got my driver's license with my boyfriend's help, and she has been having episodes ever since. She said it meant I hated her, claiming it to be disrespectful that I even have a driver's license, saying being transgender makes me 'delusional' and 'my mind doesn't work'; therefore, I can't drive because transness indicates 'poor judgment'. In addition, every car is in her name, including my brother's. So I can't borrow any of them as a means of working.

We live on a farm in rural South Jersey. It is a 20-minute 10-mile drive in either direction to the nearest civilization. There are no walkable stores, bus or train stops. This is an area where you can die without a vehicle, money or family. Even the ambulance may be too slow to save you. This is the reality of rural living. I have been applying to work-from-home since the beginning of the year with no luck. I have always made an effort from start to finish to provide the things my mom asks for without hesitation or opposition and make her feel loved outside of that, like providing conversation or listening to her problems and giving advice. Since I was a child, however, no matter how kind I was to her, she tells me she hates me, that I made her feel that way, and that it's my fault she has these problems. I could not have possibly been responsible for these problems as a baby. It's insecurity that I can't fix for her and that she doesn't want to fix herself.. she even mocks my relationship, saying my boyfriend doesn't love me and that we will never live together away from her, that I will never get away from her.

I need the appropriate funding to buy a cheap car with a down payment as little as $1000. Living with this woman has continued to put a strain on both my physical health and mental health. I need to get out. I live rural with nothing, and access to nothing. My friends have their own financial woes, and all live vast distances from many states apart. I cannot couchsurf. Homeless shelters dont exist in rural areas - we just die out here with no help...

Campaign Wall

Join the Conversation

Sign in with your Facebook account or