Struggling new parents

Struggling new parents

From Christopher Anthony

I'm trying to raise money to get my family out of debt. We've had an extremely difficult several years and we are at our wits end. Our first child is due in June and we want to everything we can for him.

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My wife and I have had a rough several years. My Dad passed away in 2015 from colon cancer, which started the spiral we've been going through since then. Even though my dad was so sick my mom had been continuing to let him make the financial decisions. Well turns out he claimed his life insurance early and now there is nothing left to keep my mom afloat after he died. So exactly a year after he passed my mom couldn’t handle the stress or her survivors guilt anymore and she tried to un-alive herself. We found her half dead wedged between her bed and her bedside table. I still go into panic attacks from thinking about that day sometimes. 

I was out of work for a while dealing with this latest heartbreak. Around that same time my grandmother on my dad’s side became ill. I was sent a letter stating that my father was in her will to receive 20% of her estate. Since he had passed I was to take his place in the will. We should have received about $25,000 once everything was settled. Giving everything that had been happening this was a huge relief. This was going to help us get back on track after the debt we had fallen into since I was missing so much work. Turns out that my uncles had gotten together and changed her will after she passed. I never received any communication about this change and didn’t know until the deposit came and was over $20,000 short of what we were expecting. My family had no remorse for writing us out and told me that it’s what my Grandmother would have wanted. I was crushed. I might have had a legal case but at the time I didn’t want to tarnish my Grandmother's memory over some money.

With the money we did get from the will, we were able to get my mom down to California where she had more family that could hopefully help her out more than my wife and I could. I can’t remember where in all this we found out but, my wife was also diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called desmoid fibromatosis. While we were at our most vulnerable I met a man who told me with just a few years of hard work I could be financially free. You guessed it, I got sucked up into a network marketing scheme. We spent 4 years and way too much money to get nowhere and tank my self esteem. 

Towards the end of my time in the MLM that will go unnamed, My mom’s family said they couldn’t deal with my mother anymore and I either needed to come get her or they weren’t sure what they were going to do with her. So I leveraged a $20,000 credit card some bank was dumb enough to give me to drive down to California and spend two weeks getting her affairs in order so I could bring back up to Oregon to live with us until we could get her into assisted living.

We had to give up our wonderful and affordable two bedroom apartment because my mom wouldn’t stop smoking in it. So we got a loan and bought a manufactured home that had a smoking room for my mom. She spent 3 years with us in that house and our debt was getting worse the whole time. We were finally able to get through the waiting lists and got her into assisted living.

My wife’s cancer was able to be treated after years of pain, and we decided to start trying for a child before we got too much older. (I’m 30M and my wife is 27F). She is now over half way through her pregnancy. Even though I am making more money than I ever have at $21.50 per hour, With all the debt we’ve fallen into over these years and the cost of everything going up I don’t know if we can ever get out of this hole. I think if we could pay off that one credit card it would give us the wiggle room to get out of this sink trap and build a foundation.

It honestly kills me to ask strangers for help but I don’t know what else to do. My family has proven they don’t care about us and her family isn’t in a position to do much either. I don’t really know what to expect from this but anything you can offer would mean the world to us. 

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