Mom's Down. Will You Please Help Rally For Her Recovery?

Mom's Down. Will You Please Help Rally For Her Recovery?

From Deleted User

So why are we asking you for help? Having a Double Mastectomy turns out to be pretty major. There are healing & recovery needs not covered by insurance. Please see all the details below. THANK YOU for being here! Hugs~

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Update #8

6 months ago

Hi Friends,
OYE. ROUGH times lately. This radiation has really been kicking my ass. It's not painful or outwardly noticeable just SO MUCH fatigue and anxiety and sleepless nights. Also VERY emotional and sad. Not for a specific reason really, just low energy and blue. Probably because I'm so tired. Only 3 more weeks and then we're done. Then I can rest up, get healthy and probably have a final breast surgery at the end of the year or early next year. I'm so grateful for my beautiful surroundings and all my friends and family who give me incredible support but I am going to need to rally to get happier and out of this sadness. Probably when the radiation ends and it's not coursing through my body? Who knows. I'm hopeful. Time will tell. For now I will just give myself a break and do the best I can. Stay tuned!!
xoxo
The Goods
- It's spring and beautiful here
- I'm almost done with radiation. More than halfway there.

The Bads
- Just BLAH....

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Dearest Friends,

Thanks for taking the time to be here and we LOVE you for that! Mom was diagnosed with Evasive Lobular Carcinoma (Breast Cancer) in September of 2018 and had a Bilateral Mastectomy and Sentinel Lobe biopsy on January 15th. The good news is this cancer is treatable and SHE WILL BE FINE. The not so great news is this procedure is HUGE. It takes a lot to fully recover and takes time. Physically, mentally, all of it can be a lot to handle. There will be reconstruction surgeries, radiation treatments and potentially some chemotherapy treatments as well. Insurance is great and Mom has the BEST cancer team in town but not all recovery needs are covered and despite using emergency savings and other financial back-up, it won't be enough. 

What prompted us reaching out was knowing that the less stress Mom has worrying about bills or short-cutting any best treatments, the better her recovery outcomes.  She's very proud and private but smart and caring people convinced her it's okay to just ask for help. Healing and good future health is the priority. 

Little, Dad and I could never thank you all enough for your support so we'll be sending some of Mom's photography. Amazing little 5x5 prints. A small token of our love and appreciation for helping us rally through this crazy time.

Mahalo,

Sidney 

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Deleted User posted a new update:
6 months ago

Update #9

Hi Friends,
OYE. ROUGH times lately. This radiation has really been kicking my ass. It's not painful or outwardly noticeable just SO MUCH fatigue and anxiety and sleepless nights. Also VERY emotional and sad. Not for a specific reason really, just low energy and blue. Probably because I'm so tired. Only 3 more weeks and then we're done. Then I can rest up, get healthy and probably have a final breast surgery at the end of the year or early next year. I'm so grateful for my beautiful surroundings and all my friends and family who give me incredible support but I am going to need to rally to get happier and out of this sadness. Probably when the radiation ends and it's not coursing through my body? Who knows. I'm hopeful. Time will tell. For now I will just give myself a break and do the best I can. Stay tuned!!
xoxo
The Goods
- It's spring and beautiful here
- I'm almost done with radiation. More than halfway there.

The Bads
- Just BLAH....

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Deleted User posted a new update:
6 months ago

Update #8

Things have settled down and are sort of feeling normal again. I go to the office 2 days a week and work the other 3 from home which has been SO NICE especially since I feel a little fatigued with the daily radiation therapy. I really like that balance. Radiation is now in its third week and going fine. (Knock wood) I haven’t had any of the potential side effects like red and itchy skin, nausea or severe, debilitating fatigue. And the girls that do my therapist are THE nicest people in the world. I actually look forward to seeing them everyday and don’t at all feel annoyed by this new commitment. Before I know it, 6 weeks of this we come and go and I actually think I will miss them. I need to bring them something special on my last day. Cupcakes or wine. Something to let them know how easy they made all this. Below is some Goods and some Bad's. Happy St. Patrick's Day Weekend!!!!
As always friends- Your support means SO MUCH to me. You have no idea. Xoxoxo

The Goods
- I have a new client who's putting some really large prints in her AirBNB and pimpin' me OUT! Excited about that.
- Exercising again and it feels good.
- Love all my doctors and cancer people in my journey. They are so smart and caring and I feel really lucky.

The Bad's
- Nothing! I actually can't think of one thing that's bad right now. Yay!

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Deleted User posted a new update:
7 months ago

Update #7

6 weeks today! Thank you to my supporters!! Thank you-Thank you-Thank you! It's so lovely to know that just because you don't see or speak with friends as much as you'd like too, when you're down and out and need some help? People are there. Friends are there. And I'm lucky. Very lucky.

The Good's
- FINALLY got my ONCOTYPE scores back and they were super low and I will not need any chemotherapies! Yay!!
- Also got my BRCA results back and DO NOT have the gene. YAY-YAY!! This means my son, my sister and brother are 99% not going to have this gene either. SO RELIEVED.
- Started back to working from home this week and it's going well. Not feeling overwhelmed and keeping in mind that nothing is more important than being relaxed and healthy so stressing over ANYTHING is not in the cards.
- Met with my amazing radiologist whom I ADORE. He's so smart and kind and patient. We start my radiation treatments Monday. 5 days a week for six weeks. Sound's awful but if these six weeks go by as fast as the last six week? We'll be done and done in no time.
- Lastly. I really do have some amazing, wonderful people in my world and you know who are. Thanks again for it all.

xoxo
Jen

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Deleted User posted a new update:
7 months ago

Update #5

I have anxiety about returning to work. For the most part, the people are very nice and do their jobs well and are nice to me, but I don’t feel close to the majority of people I work with and to be fair- I don’t really even know them. We’ve spent very little time together boding or having more personal interactions and my job can be isolating so there’s the void that makes being back at work feel sad for me. My last job was like being with family and my job now is just not even close to that.

Below are the Goods and the Bad’s

The Goods

- I feel more and more normal-ISH each week.
- I have yet to start back exercising and plan to start slowly this week so we’ll see how that goes.
- I live in a beautiful part of town that had TONS of never expected snow this week! Fluffy white everywhere!! So beautiful and cozy.
- I’m still 100% me even though parts of me are different.

The Bad’s
- Because a cut in pay isn't in the cards right now, I have to go back to my job within the next week or so even though I don’t feel 100% ready. I just hope it works out and I don’t risk health and have any recovery setbacks.
- I’m still not in love or used too my implants. While somewhat nice looking? They seem too large and not positioned comfortably for me. I see my plastic surgeon next month so hopefully we can strategize on that final outcome.
- I miss my family in CA. My sister and brother who make me laugh, drink wine with me down at the beach and keep me grounded. My mother-in-law who treats me to flea markets and mimosa brunches at the beach.
- My Oncho tests STILL are not back yet keeping next steps on chemo or not on hold.
- Sleeping alone and still only on my back. I don’t want Dan in our bed as I toss and turn all night and keeping him up would only make me feel bad. I can only sleep on my back and that’s not natural for me and difficult.

xoxo,
Jen

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Deleted User posted a new update:
7 months ago

Update #6

I have anxiety about returning to work. For the most part, the people are very nice and do their jobs well and are nice to me, but I don’t feel close to the majority of people I work with and to be fair- I don’t really even know them. We’ve spent very little time together boding or having more personal interactions and my job can be isolating so there’s the void that makes being back at work feel sad for me. My last job was like being with family and my job now is just not even close to that.

Below are the Goods and the Bad’s

The Goods

- I feel more and more normal-ISH each week.
- I have yet to start back exercising and plan to start slowly this week so we’ll see how that goes.
- I live in a beautiful part of town that had TONS of never expected snow this week! Fluffy white everywhere!! So beautiful and cozy.
- I’m still 100% me even though parts of me are different.

The Bad’s
- Because a cut in pay isn't in the cards right now, I have to go back to my job within the next week or so even though I don’t feel 100% ready. I just hope it works out and I don’t risk health and have any recovery setbacks.
- I’m still not in love or used too my implants. While somewhat nice looking? They seem too large and not positioned comfortably for me. I see my plastic surgeon next month so hopefully we can strategize on that final outcome.
- I miss my family in CA. My sister and brother who make me laugh, drink wine with me down at the beach and keep me grounded. My mother-in-law who treats me to flea markets and mimosa brunches at the beach.
- My Oncho tests STILL are not back yet keeping next steps on chemo or not on hold.
- Sleeping alone and still only on my back. I don’t want Dan in our bed as I toss and turn all night and keeping him up would only make me feel bad. I can only sleep on my back and that’s not natural for me and difficult.

xoxo,
Jen

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Deleted User posted a new update:
7 months ago

Update #4

Hi!
Weird day. 30 days ago, right around this time, I was in an operating room having a double mastectomy. That statement alone is still so unbelievable. I don’t know what happened. I was ALWAYS so healthy and NEVER had any issues. Then I hit 50 and suddenly everything fell apart. My eyes got cataracts out of nowhere, I had another lump removed from my uterus (it was fine) and then Breast Cancer with a big old diagnosis of having the Double Mastectomy. Makes you go from feeling 30 to 90 real fast. The Goods and the BAD'S below.
As always guys? Thank you from the bottom of my heart for EVERYTHING. But mostly for just being with me through all this.

The Goods
- Feeling better and closer to normal each day. Gaining energy and arm flexibility is a great thing.
- Being able to shower has been super nice The hot water soothes the soreness that’s still lingering.
- Dipping my toes back into work. Met with some people this week for an event we have in March and it was fun to be out of bed and a human again.

The Bad’s
- Not as much energy as I would like and can't sleep.
- As grateful as I am to have the cancer removed, It’s hard getting used to my new chest. I asked to go very small (B cup) and I’m still very sore and swollen so I have anxiety about the size I’ll be. These don’t seem like B’s. I know I’ll have another surgery to “fine tune” things with fat grafting, etc to smooth and contour. but I just hope I won’t have to have a bigger surgery to replace what I have with smaller implants. I know I shouldn’t be worrying about things like that but I do.
- I don’t sleep very well. Between having to wear a compression bra (think SUPER TIGHT SPORTS BRA) 24/7, I have to stay on my back still. So, I’m getting really spotty sleep which isn’t good. For some reason , regardless of leaving like 100 messages with my Oncologist, I haven’t been able to get a prescription we had discussed at my last visit. I’m 100% being ghosted by my Oncologist.
- And finally. Money. I was in my patient portal online and caught a glimpse of my procedure bill. I’m not sure yet if this is the final numbers or not as I haven’t received anything in the mail, but guys? I can’t even really talk about it it’s such a flabbergasting amount. I knew it would be high-ish but not even close to the amounts I saw. This makes me scared and then sad and I cry and then am not able to think about anything else except being broke for years. All in all? I try not get down. It’s just one of those things that you didn’t’ see coming and now it’s here and you’ll figure it out right ? I just really hope that bill was not the “ready for patient” bill.

Also- I’ve been sending out the Thank You photos so I hope you’re all getting them and they show up in good shape. I didn’t go too crazy on the packaging, so fingers crossed. Let me know if any photos come looking wonky and I’ll replace right away. That’s pretty much it for now- Still waiting on results about chemo and radiation treatment and just trying my best to be happy and light. Regardless of the bad, there’s always more good and I know this. Have great weekends!!
Xoxo,
Jen

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Deleted User posted a new update:
8 months ago

Update #3

Hi - Hi!
Apologies for the long lag in between updates but it’s been a ride the last couple of weeks. Let’s just say I definitely underestimated the gravity of the situation and then my body and mind. I don’t want to get bogged down in a lot of emotional stuff so I’m just going to try my best to condense it below. I like and want to share everything that’s been happening but I also don’t anyone to be upset with any details, etc. so I’m trying to find a balance. AS ALWAYS- You guys know you can text me or email or call ( I’ve actually been having real voice to voice phone calls lately and they’ve been amazing!) and I’ll tell you EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING. And lastly- My heart has swelled at all the amazing support you guys have given me! Reaching the financial goal is important but so is feeling the love beyond $. Be sure and follow my Instagram page (roadtripcreative) and your snail-mail for some lovely thanks you coming your way. As always- THANK YOU and Big Hugs.
Xoxox,
Jen

Update 2/7/2019
- The Goods
Healing more and more everyday. My doctors are happy with how things look and I had my drains removed this week. I also met with my treatment team for chemo and radiation who I LOVED. I swear, whatever they’re teaching in medical school these days about being a real person and having/showing feelings for your patients? It’s working. I left that meeting feeling very happy and as usual, INCREDIBLY LUCKY.
The people and things in my world have me continuously in awe at the kindness and beauty and love that comes my way. My family, my friends, my neighbors, my dogs, my co-workers, my work connections. Just so much amazing energy and LOVE and I’m blown away daily. Not a day goes by that I don’t notice how something means everything.

-The Bad's
I did my run on real pain meds and valium and then needed to start backing off and truth be told - It’s really SUCKED. I’ve been in some serious discomfort and sometimes even real pain. It makes it hard to sleep, relax and to try and just sit and breathe!! It makes you cranky, ungrateful, bitchy weepy, sad. All the things I hate being! But shit- I’m also really bad at just giving myself a break and really understanding what the F I just went through! I’m not home nursing a frickin' hangnail. I’m in the beginning stages of some serious recovery. I’m worried what my body will look and feel like too (stupid ego but true) Some days I can look at the boobs and I think they'll be okay and other days I'm like WTF- THAT is not gonna work. I cry everyday, like 10x which is par for the course my doctors say (the meds and just the journey) Not always like a full blown meltdown cry but just really weepy and those tears are on the edge ready to blow CONSTANTLY. And I think a lot about that day that this will all be a distant moment. I’ll be myself again. A different version of myself but still me. I found out that I’ll prolly never be able to do push ups again. Now let’s be clear. I’m no "in great shape fitness freak" but I did enjoy push ups!!! To never do them again? So. Bizarre. I’m also still in limbo about my treatment. The OncoTest isn’t back yet and that will decide the chemo, radiation, both or one and for how long. I’m not good with things being complicated and no plan so to not know these details is hard for me.
xoxo,
Jen

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Deleted User posted a new update:
8 months ago

Update #2

Update #2
This time last week I was under the lights and beginning the journey to wellness and what I pictured, coming out on the other side. Today I'm breathing in a gorgeous day, tumor free, in bed with my puppies and thinking a lot about a lot. I'm going to be super blunt and raw here so if that's something that's too much, I totally get it and please don't feel obligated to share or read. My WONDERFUL, sweet, smart, adorable, incredible person of a breast surgeon called me last night (actually fucking called ME) and her news was not the greatest, Turns out the lymph nodes we took and tested have are shall we say? A little dirty. We spoke briefly about this and what it will mean treatment & recovery-wise but didn't go too into it as I see her tomorrow and we can drill down then. The following is what I wrote, crying my eyes out, the minute I hung up the phone. I think it's important for me to journal. To feel, to process and to release. What a fucking ride huh?!!!

-1/21/18 8:08pm AZ I’m feeling upset. My wonderful, beautiful, smart and sensitive cancer surgeon just called with my pathology results. They’re not horrid but they’re not good either and we’ll need to keep testing and deciding what to do. The original plan was to do six weeks of radiation and now it might be that along with months of chemo. I’m not scared of any of this. The needles, my eyebrows and hair or my weight or my anything superficial. What I care about is my life.. My home, my animals, my privacy, my neighborhood that I Love so ,much and how can keep all this if I can’t work full time anymore? Is this how people end up in shelters and in homes? Living on the streets? Just when you think you’ve moved past the major hurdle, another scare creeps up. I know I’m not the only person in the world with sadness and struggle but right now I needed to journal this. More care needed that we can't afford.

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