Jig is up

From Mark Torr

At age 52, I have been managing to conceal a condition called "essential tremor" from the countless jobs that involv work that Im no longer able to perform safely. Avoiding interactions everywhere has cost me everything

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I love socializing, working, outdoor and sporting activities and there's this thing I was diagnosed with called "essential tremor" roughly 20 years ago that I had been concealing since my teen years.  I thought it could be in my head and fought it because it would be worse on some days but it wouldn't go away unless I drank enough alcohol or some self medicated formula which only was worse the next day .  I was prescribed a few medications and one of them only works for a couple of weeks until I've brought my tolerence up to taking so much that side effects become unsafe because it's a blood pressure medicine primarily that also can slow down my tremors.  My hands and arms are mostly affected but it also hits my head, trunk, and legs which is not only embarrassing but exhausting. It has gotten worse and over the years I have walked out of countless jobs usually to avoid the confrontation that I have also faced from employers because it usually appears to them as some kind of anxiety/panic attack or a drug issue.  I am a sheet metal worker by trade and if I stray elsewhere it's restaurant work . Both are unsafe at this point and the jig is up, I have to accept my condition as it is and move on. Socially, I've become a hermit unless I drink or have a exceptional day with little tremors which are few and far be between. 

My campaign is to help secure a lease for my dog and I and pay for my living expenses while I find a type of training or educational program in a field that I can get paid for because I am no longer able to pay rent or even basic needs. I have a disability application waiting to he certified by a doctor and it will probably take 6-12 months for a answer which I've been told that I'm most likely going to be denied.i don't want to be unemployed or on disability and my mental health is not so hot because it's hard to share this with anyone but I'm definitely driven with a desire to be self sufficient and I would start a business if I can save the money to finance it . I do a couple of household improvements that people demand in this economy so I ask for help while I do what I know best and stay optimistic.  I wouldn't have a hard time if I were without my pug but he isn't quite able to rough it like I could and separation is not an option. T



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