Help achieve the goal of raising $3,099 to publish my first book, my dream since the year 2005. Can you believe i wished my child away, couldn't face the public letting my wife pregnant when our first was barely four ...
e came out weak and fragile, his legs were extremely soft, as if he could not lift them. Just like his brother he looked, slept peacefully beside his mom and beautiful to behold. I had asked my wife if I could take her to the hospital that morning because the contraction increased and was more frequent, she said she'll be fine only for a call from her with her funny words "it paining me o”. Arriving at the hospital to meet them, having boasted I will be by her as she pushes our Olamilekan, my baby was handed over to me.
The truth, we had wished him away in December 2014 when his brother was barely 7 months, I cried and shed tears; my wife cried several times and never stopped thinking about it as a mistake even though I tried encouraging her.
She thought she had malaria when the symptoms persisted and been a Nurse, we knew how to get the answer to the question her state begged. She sometimes woke up in the middle of the night to look at Zion and how little he was, then start crying.
We thought about what people will say, how we will cope with two children at this stage of our lives. I said to myself; “how can this happen to you with your level of education, in 2015 not 1970ties, in a dispensation like this. You allowed this, Uduak accept the fact that you are just a fool”
I went out every day with guilt flowing down from my head to the soles of my shoes. My mind was filled up with junks I opened the doors to. I was almost blown away with shame.
I forgot about the fact that, just about four month after Zion was delivered, I had a vision we should christen our second child Grace, male or female. Our plan and prayer was for a female child, and we wanted her to come when we get to SPEAP head quarters. We had it planned out without considering or seeking after God's short term plan for our lives and destiny.
It was a hard time for me, it was a hard time for us...we struggled to accept the pregnancy; I even prayed that the symptoms were not signs of pregnancy. Abortion was not an option; we were very clear with that.
Can you beat that? I prayed him away...
The irony of the situation is that, now I can't even comprehend how much I love this guy, I love spending time with him. It’s different being with him, it’s different being with them; He's so surrounded with favor, he's always overtaking and always comes first everywhere we go.
Someday soon he'll read this and realize I was wrong to have ever wished him away.
I have been writing since the year 2005 with post on www.speap.blogspot.com but been very challenging rising funds publishing. Author House provides just what I need but at a cost of $3,099 for the Premier package, kindly help to be a part of this dream.
My Name is Uduak Akpan, from Nigeria with a beautiful wife, a father of two.
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