I've hit the end of my rope and just can't exist here anymore. I need help to get out of the emotionally abusive household I live in and to go back to school. The money would go to rent and debt repayment so I can heal.
I live with my parents and older brother. I am the first person in my family to go to university. I was able to do one year by throwing myself thousands of dollars into debt with a private student loan as my parents wouldn't share their tax information for me to fill out the FAFSA. As such, I was only able to do one year before I had to return home.
Now that I'm back in Minnesota, I have to work 40-60 hours a week at two physically demanding jobs just to barely pay my debt every month. I have health issues that should, in an ideal world, prevent me from working anything but a desk job. Instead, I get to lift 50 lb. boxes of books and work 12 hour serving shifts.
Currently, here in Minnesota, I make $1150 a month and owe about $1100 of that out in bills and debt every month. I had to buy a car because mine died. Every time I try to save even a few dollars, it gets spent on some extra debt payment or some other catastrophe.
All of this has led to a fantastic /s sense of self-worth and extreme suicidal thoughts. I hate myself. I hate my life. The people in my life hate me. They don't want me around. The sole part of my life that has kept me from killing myself is my kitty, and I won't get to take him with if I finally get out, as he's technically my brother's. He's my world and my only joy.
If I can get back to school, I am welcome back at the job I had while in NJ. If I miraculously manage to get what I am asking for in this campaign, it would cover the deposit and first month's rent at a place in NJ, as well as pay off half of each of my big debts.
I just want and need to cut myself off from my so-called family to take care of myself, mentally and physically. I want nothing more in life than to actually like me. I know it won't happen while I'm here. Every single day I have to be here is another breakdown crying on the way to work in the morning. More books that I want so badly to read sitting unread because I can't take any joy in them.
I just want to be healthy, happy, and free.
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