Give the gift of being able to smile again. Help me be able

Give the gift of being able to smile again. Help me be able


Iam raising money to be able to get a set of dentures but this goes much deeper than that. Iam going to put myself out there no matter how ashamed I am. Because this is my chance to live life again

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I have never done this before and I'm extremely nervous. So much is dependent on this. Let me start off by telling you about who I WAS. Sounds odd but I said that because who I am today and who I use to be are extremely different. Not by choice either. I was the one person who always had a smile on her face. I would constantly get comment's about my smile. Whether them be about how pretty my smile was or how I always had a smile on my face and that it was nice to be around someone like that. No matter how many compliments I received there was always a constant voice in my head telling me how ugly I was, that I'm useless, fat and no one will ever love me. Even if they say they do its a lie, they are just being nice. It didn't help that at the age of 12 my mother gave me diet pills that put me in the ER. I'm assuming for all the childhood trauma that I haven't mentioned and the little I did that its no shock that I developed an Eating Disorder. From the age of 12 untill I was 29 I suffered viscously with both Anorexia and Bulimia. I knew I was out of control but I also did things that I thought would shield me from any type of physical consequences. Tips that I had read about online like "After you purge get baking soda and swish it around in your mouth so the stomach acid won't deteriorate your teeth" I got so bad that I was purging up to 12 to 15 times. Every night I was scared to go to bed because I was afraid my heart was going to stop. I was having extreme heart palpitations. At 23 I was at the dentist and he told me I was going to lose all my teeth and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I thought he was nuts but then came the time when I finally healed myself the best I could and stopped hurting myself. AS SOON AS I DID my teeth started giving me issues! Within a year they all crumbled and now im left with just a couple in my mouth. I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW SEVERE this has ruined my life. We all know the typical issues that someone would have.  Like not being able to chew foods. Especially anything that is a fruit or vegetable. It's impossible.. That leaves me with soft foods and my experience has been that soft foods are mostly not that good for you. I also have a lisp type sound when trying to talk and I also cannot smile anymore. Not being able to smile and trying to deal with all of the shame, humiliation, embarrassment and just completely demobilized me. I now life a life that is something I never imagined myself living. I never leave the house. Anything that I need my brother will help me or I'll order online. I havent seen any of my friends in 4 years! They don't even know what happened.They just know that I've been suffering with mental health issues. Which Iam but the core problem starter was what happened to my teeth. I became a shell of who I was. I just want to be able to smile again. Imagine if you couldn't smile ever again and if you do people instantly judge you thinking you are a drug addict. It disintegrates any part of you that was good. 

So I'm asking for any type of help. Any donation at all I'd be extremely grateful for. Nothing is to small because any amount is bringing me closer to getting my life back.

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