When Zoloft and balloon animals can't seem to raise your spirits, the best way to brighten your life is to run Color Me Rad 5K.
Historically, running has only been acceptable when trying to escape the law, personal responsibility, the truth, and grizzly bears.
Instead of running FROM something, get ready to run FOR something at this year’s Color Me Rad. Run for the Hell of it.Color Me Rad is coming to a town near you with a tsunami of color that'll make colored tears of joy run down your cheeks and will renew your will to live.
After 5K of color bombardment, we guarantee your outlook will be brighter, your boyfriend will be more affectionate, your girlfriend will be less needy, the hair on your head will grow back and the hair on your back will fall out, your black and white TV will turn into 720p HD (I know you were hoping for 1080, but we organize races, we're not miracle workers), and your gray outlook will turn green like a spring morning.You’ll start off with a shirt as pure and white as your grandpa's dentures and you'll soak up enough color while running to change your skin tone forever. You'll wind up looking like a pack of skittles – just make sure not to “taste the rainbow.”
So cast your DYE and get red in the face from Color Me Rad, and not from the embarrassment of passing up on the run of a lifetime.
How it works: Start out as clean as a newborn babe, and throughout the run, you'll coat your chaffing thighs with Color Bombs of blue, green, pink, purple, and yellow until your face, shirt, and body come out silkscreened like a tie-dyed hippy on the other side.Each section of the run adds a new explosion of color to your clean, painter’s palate until you cross the finish line into a final blitzkrieg of color.
What is the “color” in Color Me Rad?
You’re probably asking yourselves, “Is this really color being thrown at us or are the rainbows we’re seeing just God’s signal that it’ll never flood again?”Well I’m glad you asked. This isn’t just smoke and mirrors. This is non-toxic, non-rash-inducing, Kroger branded, colored corn-starch. Subsidized by the government and processed in the good ol’ US of A, these blasts of starch will change your color, and your demeanor, but never your level of wellness.
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